Hello everyone, it's been a very long time since I posted, a whole two years wow! In those years I graduated uni and got a full time corporate job in a career which slightly deviates from my actual degree. Writing has become more of a hardship than a luxury once I have the time to rest my mind, it doesn’t always land on starting a new script. Writing has become a lot harder as I don’t have a lot of time to spare during the day, but I have managed to write a new short and TV Pilot so the year wasn’t entirely wasted (yay).
You may be wondering why I’ve decided to resurrect this blog again on an unsuspecting November morning. Well today is a very special day, today was the first time in my writing career I received a non rejection email from a huge writing competition! I received the email at 2:35pm on the 22nd of November on my lunch WFH break, I skimmed the email like I usually do seeing the word "Unfortunately." I prematurely rolled my eyes about to close the email when my eyes landed on the word "Congratulations!" I paused, confused for a moment, these two words not correlating, I decided to read the email again in its entirety from start to finish. What I read made me pause the show I was watching and gasp. The email read that I made it through to the next round of a huge competition in which 20% of the scripts make it to the next round. I couldn’t believe what I was reading, especially since these last two weeks have been quite difficult for me mentally everything in that moment all work stress mental strain melted away like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
I’ve always wondered what my reaction would be like when I got my first non rejection email, would I cry or break down in a flood of tears or collapse? I didn’t do anything like that actually I was in a deep state of shock, my heart thumped in my chest and I sat up to reread the email four more times. Screenshotting the email for evidence like it was a figment of my imagination that would disappear once I had a proper look at it, but no it was there in the flesh in an email addressed to me! I forwarded the screenshot on Whatsapp and attempted to speak to the first person i thought of my twin (obvs) She didn’t respond straight away but whilst I was waiting for her response my mind was racing full of thoughts. One thought that came to mind was one I have to admit I’ve never had. I was truly proud of myself and so I stamped this moment in time with a Twitter post (yes I still call it that) Not caring how many people engaged with it. Because it wasn’t for them it was for me! I wanted or needed to make sure I had evidence of something I had never thought was possible. That’s the thing with rejection once you get so many you get numb and accustomed to it you expect it. And when you get a response that deviates from the norm you have to celebrate it any win big or small. I celebrated with a small wiggle dance with a smile on my face in front of the mirror before hopping to my monitor as I still had work to do. (I ordered a cheeky takeaway in the evening too.)
Throughout the day I couldn’t focus on my work, so I kept rereading the email and reading the script I entered. And wow what a special script it was. It was the first script I wrote at 19, also the age I had my mini midlife crisis. In which I made it my mission to start actually pursuing my dreams. The script was based on my first short film idea in which my mother helped inspire, her simply saying “Just write from your experiences.” Sparked a creativity in me I'd never quite seen before and I actually put pen to paper and attempted my first draft of “Hi Again.” Albeit my first draft was awful and I cringe every time I reread it also because I used a bad but free script writing software, but that’s all I could afford at the time. But I was happy at last I could finally place all my ideas onto the pages. I learned a very good and important lesson which is just start, start writing, put all your ideas onto one page and you can always rearrange your words and thoughts afterwards. But starting is always the hardest part, but once you have gotten into it you find a rhythm or flow the words stream seamlessly onto the page.
So back to today this was my confirmation that I am in fact a writer and I may actually be a good one. All this time submitting to competitions doubting my ability and work as a self taught writer, my thoughts are my own enemy really. But today solidified that I may in fact be on the right path, echoing from my tweet I am finally able to say I am proud of myself for not truly giving up. And my writing is good and it’s important so whatever the outcome I am truly proud of myself. And how cathartic this email was sent on the very day I graduated from uni unsure of what path I needed to take, I was incredibly depressed after months spent pouring over applications for graduate jobs only to receive rejections right after. This may be the first step towards my dreams as a writer and aspiring filmmaker. I hope to share all the weird wacky cool script ideas I have in my head with the world... hopefully soon.🙂
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